The Missing Piece (kind of a big one)

So, in my last blog post, I described the steps we have gone through so far and the steps in the process that still await us in the near future.  I mentioned that, at that time, what we were currently waiting on was our LID status, meaning that our dossier had been logged in to China's system and that we would be all set to be matched with a child once that would occur.  I expected it would be another week, possibly up to two weeks, before that would happen for us.  Instead we were thrilled to find out that we were LID only 3 days after I made that post! 

The last time I wrote, I also mentioned that we had decided to switch agencies.

BUT, there was a missing piece of information I did not pass along in the last post.

What I could not yet share was our reason for the switch.  It was kind of a big reason... or should I say, HE was kind of a big reason.  That's right, our family has a match and will be adding a little boy sometime this coming July or August!!!!  He will be 14 months old tomorrow.  We feel very blessed. 

I wasn't able to mention him in my last post because, although we were working on the process of declaring our intent for him, we were not LID yet and so we could not submit our intent for him and therefore we did yet have pre-approval from China for him.  Since the agency had no one far enough in the process interested in a boy and since we were so close to LID, they were able to hold him for us for a short period.  We were on a somewhat tight time-table.  His file was to be returned the first week in March to China's Shared list or to another agency's list.  So, our new agency had us go ahead and write our Letter of Intent/Nurture Plan for him so they could have it translated and ready to submit as soon as we were LID.  We got our LID Tuesday morning, they submitted the LOI that day and, crazily, I received an email Tuesday evening letting us know that we had already received our PA (Pre-Approval) for him!  I expected PA to take at least a week!  Talk about things happening more speedily now! 

So, this is how we found him...

One month ago, I was scanning through a Facebook China Waiting Child Advocacy Site and I saw these eyes:

 

I read a little bit about the little boy.  His age was a good fit for our family.  His special need was something we felt we could manage. But, he was with another agency.  We had been receiving several suggestions to consider switching agencies due to the changes in China's system and the fact that our wait for a match could be several months longer than we had previously expected since our original agency did not have any active orphanage partnerships.  Still, we were really happy with our current agency and the idea of switching agencies was overwhelming to me.  I just couldn't stomach the thought of researching agencies again, doing MORE paperwork, and having to deal anymore with our snail-slow local homestudy agency to make any changes that would be needed.  So, I decided we should just sit tight. 

 

About a week went by and I saw the little guy (or his eyes, anyway) again and this time a Facebook adoption friend had tagged me on his photo.  I showed him to Jeremy and said, "It doesn't hurt to just ask a few questions - maybe take a look at his file".  So, we decided to do just that.  We got his file and spent a day or so just reading over it (all 3 pages of information - you don't typically get a lot in these files).  We decided consult a couple of doctors to read over the file for us and give us their input.  After taking the weekend to rest in our "almost decision" to move forward, we officially decided to move forward to make this little guy ours and we let both agencies know that we wanted to start the process of switching agencies.  I can't say enough about Adoption Associates, Inc., our original agency.  They made it clear that they were happy for us and that they are all about children finding families.  So, we are now working with a new agency in Colorado.  It is called A.A.C. - Adoption and Family Network.  The switching process ended up being smooth and manageable - only a relatively small amount of extra paperwork in the end and only a small amount of dealing with our home study agency, thank goodness.  

 

So, what are we waiting on now?

 

We are waiting for our Letter of Acceptance.  Basically, official-official approval from China to adopt this specific little boy.  We don't expect that there should be any problem actually getting this approval.  The wait times for LOA, however, are all over the place.  I think the average wait is about 60-70 days.  Ours may be longer because we were matched so close to LID and our dossier has not yet been translated in China so that will have to be done first.  (People who get logged in and then wait a long time for a match typically get a fast LOA because their dossiers have been sitting translated already.)  We are hoping for an average LOA wait but it could end up being longer.  I have heard of some people waiting up to 120 days on occasion.  So, our hope is that we should be LOA sometime in the next few months. 

 

A.A.C. is a little stricter than most agencies I have seen about privacy and confidentiality. They have told us that until we are LOA, we are not able to publicly post any pictures of our little guy or share specifically where in China he is waiting for us.  This makes me sad even though I understand that they are doing it for a good reason.  I want to show his cute little self to the world!!!  Hopefully we'll get a FAST LOA!!! :)

 

So, as I mentioned earlier, we anticipate traveling to bring him home sometime in either July or August - primarily depending, I think, on whether we are at the more average or longer-end of the LOA wait. 

 

We (mostly me) are still nervous about traveling so far from home and leaving our girls for so long.   But we are SO excited to make this little boy a part of our family and give Maryn and Brynnie a little brother to love on.  We can't wait to learn more about him and get to know him - and be his Mama and Baba!! :) 



The Alphabet Soup of Adoption

I realize that I have started a pattern of beginning the majority of my blog posts in a similar manner.  I guess  I may as well stay consistent.  Therefore, I will begin with my disclaimer and apology of the fact that I have clearly proven myself not to be a natural-born blogger by the fact that my blog posts show up about once every 2-3 months! :) 

I have wished to be better at sharing our adoption news, progress, emotions, etc. as we have gone through the process so far and have not really found myself to be very on top of that, to say the least...  Perhaps I will do better as we begin having more to share...

Although it feels to me like a lot of "adoption stuff" has been happening, until recently there has been no real progress in our process to share.  I didn't ever blog about it, but many of you know from reading small individual Facebook posts that we have had many little paperwork setbacks involving silly things like water-main breaks, a loose staple and it feels like much more (perhaps there are other things that I have managed to repress at this point) which have set us back by at least a couple of weeks. 

In addition to those obstacles, we made the decision to switch placing agencies.  This was a choice that we made on our own and it is for the best but it did serve to delay things even a little more.  This meant that when our dossier finally arrived at our agency in Michigan from the New York consulate, it then had to be mailed to our new agency in Colorado.  The Colorado agency then needed a form signed by our local home study agency which took a week and then AAC (our new agency) had to get China to add our local agency to its list of approved home study agencies which took a couple of more days. 

BUT, I am so very excited to announce one of the things I was beginning to think I was never ever going to be able to share.  I expected to be saying this about a month or so ago, but, I can finally say that WE ARE DTC!!!! This picture included in an email from my agency made me smile! :)

What is DTC, you ask?  That brings me to the title of my blog post - The Alphabet Soup of Adoption. :)

There are many, many, MANY acronyms in the world of China adoption.  I had to laugh at myself a while back when I caught myself writing a note to someone and telling them - "I am hoping that we will be DTA tomorrow we can be DTC by Wednesday and then maybe if we are lucky we might be LID before CNY!"  These letters (other than the CNY which was Chinese New Year) are some of the "biggies" in the adoption world.  DTA and DTC refer to "Dossier to Agency" and "Dossier to China".  DTA and DTC happen a few days apart from each other (typically).  Getting DTC is a big deal.  Primarily in that it means that there is a break in the paperwork for a little while.  It means taking a deep breath and letting it out and hoping and praying that everything was done well and right (which should be the case since the agency reviews everything before it leaves their hands). 

Now that we are DTC, though, we still get to search for more letters in our soup.  After the dossier gets to China, The China Center of Adoption Affairs must log our dossier into their system.  At that point, we will be considered LID which is another biggie.  We have made a decision that the type of child we feel most comfortable adopting would be a child younger than Bryn who turned two in October.  We have also decided that we feel most comfortable at this time in our lives taking on a child with more minor special needs.  Children who fit this type of criteria (young with minor needs) fit into what is know as the "LID Only" group.  This means that you must have completed your dossier and had it logged into China's system (i.e. be "LID") in order to be officially matched with an LID only child.

So we were DTC as of Thursday afternoon hope to hear within the next couple of weeks that we have achieved our long-awaited LID status.
                                      

Once we are LID, we can be matched with a child.  At that point, we will submit LOI (Letter of Intent to adopt that child).  We then wait on PA (pending approval) and then a couple to a few months after that for LOA (letter of acceptance - official approval from China to adopt that child). There are a few more steps in between LOA and the real biggie - TA (travel approval).  I am trying to only stay a step or two ahead of myself in understanding this process so I will admit that I am not sure whether any of the steps in between LOA and TA have acronyms.  Either way, we have come to learn that adoption is full of A LOT of letters!! :)  

In news other than adoption... Jeremy is settled in and happy in his new job with Hamilton County Board of Developmental Disabilities.  He was able to get a teaching job at Margaret Rost School that is literally a few minutes drive from our house.  It has been a huge blessing because he used to drive an hour each way to work.  He liked his old job and that was the one drawback.  Now he has found a job doing the same work right around the corner from where we live!!

Maryn and Brynnie have moved into the same room with their new beds built by daddy.  I enjoy hearing them whispering and giggling at night - as long as it is whispering!  There have been a few nights that we have had to split them up but, overall, it has been a good move.  I even heard Maryn tell Bryn the other day, "we'll talk about this more when we go up to bed...".  So sweet!  Only problem, I think she may have been planning to continue the little lecture she had been attempting to give her on the fact that it is not nice to say "poopy butt" - something that Brynlee never would have said in the first place if she hadn't learned it from Big Sis, by the way!! :)  

Maryn started preschool 2 days a week in January and loves it, of course. Bryn likes having Mommy time while Maryn is at school.  One of her favorite things to do with me is laundry (thank goodness as this allows me to get a little something done!) but a close tie is having reading time together snuggled under a blanket. I think she would be happy to park herself in my lap with a stack of books for the entire two hours we have together.  I love it! 

The girls are so excited and talk so often about having a little brother! Today Maryn told me that she took a little pillow from her room and put it in the crib in the other room, "so my little brother can have a pillow, Mommy!". Brynlee tells me all the time about how her little brother will be "too little to use the big potty like me. He'll need to use the little potty".  I explained that he'll probably need diapers still for at least a little while after he comes home since we hope to bring home a child who around 18 months or younger.  :)  I've told them that I might need to grow a third leg to grow my lap for snuggle time but they have both reassured me that they will make room on my lap for their brother - "I'll just scoot back here, Mommy, and he can sit up there".  They are so sweet in their comments about him!  (Minus the times that Maryn asks if we are sure we can't bring home a sister instead!). I know there are many changes and adjustments ahead for all of us and that they will have a lot of new challenges to deal with.  We are going to work hard to help get them ready.  But, I am excited for them opening their hearts - (and my lap!) to a new family member.  They both have seen many, many pictures of "babies from China".  I can't wait until we can show them a picture and tell them - "Here he is! This is your brother!"  

I'm hoping there will be a shorter time between blog posts this time around and that the wait won't be long until I can come back here for the purpose of announcing a new little member of the Osterfeld bunch! 



Continuing to Paperchase and Fundraise

I am certainly not a blogger, that much is obvious... 

But, I do find this a nice easy way to let everyone know when and if something actually IS happening with the adoption process.  So, I'm not sure if I can ever promise that the blog postings will be frequent.  But, you never know....

So, here is where we stand right now on the adoption front:

Our home study was FINALLY completed with just a few hours to spare in order to make it to the mailbox to have one of our grant applications postmarked on the October 31 deadline.  We will hear sometime after January 31 about whether we got any money from that particular grant.  There are some other grants we are in the process of learning about and applying for.  I'm trying to keep a positive attitude about the prospect of receiving a grant as I am reading quite a bit of negative experiences of most grants beign denied, etc.  We would appreciate prayers on that front. 

With the completion of our home study, we were finally able to send in our I-800A application which is basically approval to get a visa for an orphan.  When that approval comes to us, it will be in a form called an I-797.  We are waiting on that form to complete our Dossier - a big packet of important papers that will go to China.  Unfortunately, the I-800A approval process is running slowly right now (shocker!).  This time last year, it was taking only around 30 days.  We had been told to expect 6-8 weeks.  Right now, it is running 70-80 days.  So, we are looking at a timeline of 70-80 days from November 5 when our application was received.  Apparently the slow down is due to a new computer system so I'm being optimistic that MAYBE that timeline could speed up once they adjust to the new system. I have no idea how "new" the system is, though, and how long they have already been "adjusting". 

Once exciting thing is that half of our Dossier is currently being processed at the Chinese Consulate in New York City as I write (well, during buisness hours, of course!)  We had to send some of our documents in ahead of receiving our I-797 because we got them done so long ago (back in June) that they would be expired if we waited until the end of December (or longer).

So, nine of our dossier documents (2 doctor physical forms, 2 birth certificates, 2 employer reference letters, 2 criminal background check letters, and a marriage certficate) took a trip with me to downtown Cincinnati to be County Sealed, then up to Columbus to be State Sealed, and now have been mailed to a courier in New York City.  The courier took them to the Consulate to be sealed last Thursday where it will take 5 buisness days for them to be processed and then they will be mailed to our agency!  This will be very exciting for me to have over half of our Dossier ready and waiting at our agency.  When we get our I-797 back, we will follow the same process with that and 4 other documents - downtown for county seal, up to Columbus for State seal and couriered to New York for the Consulate Seal.  Then, our entire dossier will be in the hands of our agency.  There are several other documents that did not require seals which we have already sent to our agency.  Once that final group of sealed documents make it there, our Dossier will be translated and sent to China!!  This probably won't be until late in January, assuming things follow the timeline we are expecting. 

Once our Dossier is in China and we are considered "Logged In", we should have a match the very first month.  Right now, it looks like we may find out who our son is possibly in February.  I had originally hoped to have our documents to China in early December and to maybe even have a match by Christmas but our homestudy took about 2 months longer than we had expected.  Now, the next step is looking to take longer than expected, as well.  As if I hadn't been warned of this by other adoptive parents... I am starting to notice a pattern here! :)

Still, now that that home study is finally behind us, I feel quite a bit less stress.  I was getting to the point of feeling like I was going to strangle someone and it wasn't a good place for me to be.  Even though we still have quite a bit of a wait ahead of us, it just feels good to be waiting for something new! 

So far, we have paid a little over 1/4 of what the adoption will cost us.  And, so far, we haven't touched any of the donation money.  That is a good feeling.  The next payment we make will be a big one and it will come close to taking all of the money we have had donated.  Crazy as it sounds, though, it feels really good to make these payments.  Feels like we're plugging along, putting this part behind us... Getting closer to the GOOD STUFF - like bringing a baby boy out of an orphanage where he might be one of twenty-something babies in a room with one nanny and bringing him home to a FAMILY....  We'll get there!

We are continuing to work on raising funds, right now primarily by attempting to sell or planning to sell every last little thing around here that we don't need, love, or use regularly!  Other than some special momentos that we will hold on to, I have been busy, busy sorting and taking pictures of baby girl clothes to sell online.  My materntiy clothes have already nearly all been sold.  It is definitely quite bittersweet to see these things go but I know it is for good reason. 

Also, on the topic of fundraising, a high school classmate of mine who is a Thirty-One consultant has generously offered to donate her commission (25% of all sales) that our supporters bring in until November 23rd.  You can place an order by following this LINK.

Looking ahead, we are actually considering going the Garage Sale Fundraiser route one more time come spring.  We found it to be so successful the first time around, it seems worth it to give it another try!  We still have plenty of boxes to go through of our own in our basement and imagine we will be continuing to find things to sell.  If your family is looking to clear out your house for the holidays and would like some help in that area, just let me know!  We would be more than happy to come pick up anything that you are just looking to get rid of and would like to donate our way!  We appreciate it so much!  :)

So, that s really all there is new to share on the adoption front.  Not much to share but it does feel like we are making some progress. 

As always, thank your all for the encouragement and prayers!

Some More Musical Inspiration...

So, I'm not so good at this "keeping-up-with-a-blog" thing, it is becoming more and more evident...

Sometimes I find myself telling people when they ask about our adoption that "Most of the time, we are really happy and excited." So, therefore it goes without saying that there are those times... the ones that are other than "Most of the time..." where we don't feel so happy and excited.  And, I can only really speak for myself, but during those times, I feel.. SCARED. 

I said no to adoption for so long for only one real reason and that was fear.  And, even though we have moved through that fear, it is not something we have left behind us in the dust, never to be felt again. 

I still have my days (or at least my moments of my days) where I wonder what in the world we are doing.  I wonder how in the heck we are ever going to afford this and how we are going to deal with all of the challenges we learn about in our home study training.  I worry if I am a good enough mom to come anywhere close to the moms I meet and read about who have gone through it before. I worry about my girls and what will change... 

BUT... Then, we do just what we have done before.  Just what we did in the beginning when we first said, "yes".  We MOVE.  We keep moving and by moving we make it through the moments of fear and doubt about all of the "what ifs". 

We sang this song at church today and it was such an inspiration to me.  I think before I sang halfway through the first verse, I was grabbing a pen and paper to frantically try to write down all of the lyrics since, once again, He was telling me exactly what I needed to hear! 

So, I am going to post it here for all of you to enjoy.  I hope it will be as inspiring to all of you in whatever area God is calling you to step out in Faith.

And, if there is anyone out there who is feeling a tug toward adoption, please feel free to ask me any questions you may have.  I am by no means an expert.  I find myself having to try to find answers to questions all the time.  But, I have met quite a lot of people who DO know a lot and who have experienced all of the amazing things God does through this process.  I would love to talk to anyone who feels that God might be placing this calling on their lives.

The orphan crisis is something I find on my mind constantly now.  God wants homes and families for these lonely, hurting, and languishing children.  Outside the US and within our country.  He needs us to be those families.  If our family can do it, you can do it, too.  We are not rich. We are not special.  There are times when our faith is very weak.  There are times when I could do so much better of a job with the children God has already given me. Still, I know there is a child out there... children out there... who need our family...  Who need more than our family...    

So, on that note...Here is your musical inspiration for the evening: 

Hillsong - Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)

LONG time....No Blog! A Hodge-Podge of UPDATES!! :)

I feel the need to warn any readers that this post is quite a long one.  Hey, it's been awhile and I've been quite neglectful of the blog to say the least!   I will say that it doesn't seem like it can be possible that it has been nearly 2 months since I've last made a blog post.  We've managed to keep pretty busy over here this summer. Shortly after I last wrote, we headed to Coldwater, Ohio to Grandma Sue's for a week with the Osterfeld Clan.  Maryn and Bryn were in heaven to spend the week with their Grandma, cousins, aunts, and uncles (and Mommy and Daddy, too, of course); eating popsicles and swinging, riding bikes and splashing in the baby pools.  And this only a couple of weeks after a trip to Tallmadge, OH to visit Uncle Steve, Aunt Burdie, and cousins Clare and Maggie for a weekend.  They were spoiled with so much cousin time and had a hard time adjusting to coming home to our little family of four! : ) 

Other than that, the girls and I have spent the summer doing a whole lot of relaxing, really.  Park visits (a huge favorite - especially if they include a picnic lunch), trips to the zoo (a special treat when they include company from our friend Emily (who is also their babysitter) and her boys Dominic and Adam), visits to Grandma and Grandpa's Ottke's house and to play with cousin Brayden and Aunt True and Uncle Mike, and of course a trek out to the backyard swing set and sandbox once or twice... a day!  We also welcomed a new baby cousin into our family in July.  Brayden has a new baby brother, Luke and Maryn and Bryn love loving on him. 

Jeremy was home from work for the summer and so we got to have Daddy's company during many of our outings which we all loved, of course.  As far as relaxing, lets just say Jeremy had a little less of that than the rest of us!  My hard-working husband took on a giant project this summer - HAND-digging out our crawl-space which is the entire width of our house, using just a shovel and wheel-barrow. He made it two feet deeper so that we can now walk around in it an easily store things in there.  He also built shelves and a wood floor for the space!  He's pretty amazing!

In adoption news...We had most of our paperwork for our homestudy submitted mid-July and all of it turned in and fees paid by the first day of August. Then, we had our first experience (far from our last) of WAITING for everything to be reviewed and for our social worker to contact us. Just as I was starting to feel really antsy and worried, I had two very smart people remind me that all none of this is going to be done in our timing.  The One who is in charge of it all is going to make this all go just as it should in order for us to be ready when the name of the little boy He wants for our family is ready to pop up on that list that comes through from China each month...  It gave me such peace to remember that and as soon as that happened, well, darned if our social worker didn't call us - that very day.  What a waste of worry and anxiousness, huh?  We heard from her the middle of this past week and she came for her first visit yesterday afternoon. She'll be back on Thursday to do individual hour-long interviews with Jeremy and myself and then next Saturday for a tour of our home and some education time with us. After that, we may have one other meeting with her. She said that she may be able to complete our homestudy by the end of September so that is our big hope! We will also be completing 12 hours of adoptive parent training sometime over the next month or so - either online or in a class.  We can see the benefits of being able to connect with some more adoptive parents with the class format.  However, we are hoping we will be allowed the online option since, as far as we know, the classes our home study agency offers once in the fall and once in the spring have not yet been scheduled - which to us just sounds like more delays in the making. And, they will require a 4 hour drive to northern Ohio and 2 six-hour long days during which someone will have to take care of our girls for us. We will find out at our next meeting with our social worker which route we will be taking when it comes to the 12 education hours.. .

Once our homestudy is complete, we will be ready to submit what is known as an I-800A, a form that we send to the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services office. It is the Application for Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Hague Convention Child (meaning a child who comes from a country who has adopted the Hague convention which regulates adoption). We send the form with a bunch of supporting documentation (birth certificate, marriage certificate, homestudy) and about another $900. The paperwork that comes back to us from submitting the I-800A will be a part of our Dossier which will go to China.

So... we are one more step closer but still have quite a ways to go!

And, in other adoption news...In addition to our normal summer fun and always present "daddy's-project-of-the-season", some of you may know that we had ourselves a little GARAGE SALE this summer!  Only, the sale was not little - in the least.  This sale has been, without a doubt, once of the most humbling experiences we have ever had as a couple.  The amount of people who stepped forward to donate items, bake desserts, buy water for us to sell, loan us tables, share their yards, help us sort clothes, help us set up/tear down, help care for our girls, shop at our sale, and share encouraging words has been amazing and overwhelming.  We even had garage sale shoppers, total strangers, who saw our signs and came to shop our sale and BRING ITEMS TO DONATE!  We had a shopper who was a social worker who works with children who have been adopted who gave us her information and offered to consult with us for free if we ever have any questions or any needs.  Many adoptive, foster, and prospective adoptive parents came and shared experiences and encouragement with us.  We had 3 days of sales and the sale has continued on an online re-sale site all summer.  We have also taken 2 van loads of items (so far) to St. Vincent DePaul to donate.  To date, we have raised over $2880.00 selling things of our own and items that have been donated!  And, we are still going...  We are truly shocked and SO grateful.  THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to anyone who has helped us in any way with this fundraiser. We appreciate it so much!

So, including monetary donations and our garage sale fundraising, we have currently raised $4276 of the $25,000-$30,000 that the adoption will cost us.

A friend recently asked me a question about our fundraising.  She wanted to know what would happen to the money that we had raised if we didn't raise enough to go through with the adoption. Would it be donated elsewhere or to another family's adoption?  She was worried that I would be offended but I wasn't  - I was so glad that she asked.  I know that this is something that is totally unheard of for many people (fundraising for an adoption), although it is actually quite common and I really want people to understand.  It is awkward enough asking people for donations, and even moreso if there are any questions with regard to our use of the money!!  She suggested that I may want to share what I shared with her with others so that it is clear for everyone. 

My answer to her was that this adoption WILL happen.  Yes, it is beyond the financial means of our family and we do not have the money in the bank to do this as it stands right now.  Yes, we are trusting God to help bring the funds through the generosity of others to make this happen. But, no matter what, (as long as we are found fit to adopt which will be pretty much official when our homestudy is complete - assuming they don't turn us down!), we ARE bringing this little boy, whoever he is, home to join our family.  There are other resources available besides relying completely on donations from individuals.  Another big benefit to having the homestudy completed (besides getting to move forward in the process) is that we will be able to begin applying for grants and financial aid for the adoption.  Right now, we are planning to send in applications for at least one grant, one matching grant (in which the organization will match all donations we have made to them in our name), and most likely an adoption loan as soon as our homestudy is complete.  There are at least a few other grants we are aware of that we may apply for down the road depending on the outcome of the first few.  None of these are a guarantee and we don't know if we will receive a grant, multiple grants, or no grants...Should none of those come through for us (heaven forbid!!) we always have the option of taking a loan out of the bank and paying it off as we can.  We are also planning on at least one more "event-type" fundraiser at some point down the road.  So, that's that when it comes to financing and fundraising...

Well, I think I have borrowed all of your eyes for long enough this time around and can't think of anything else we have to share right now. 

Dreaming of the day when we have less to share about paperwork and finances and obstacles and more thrilling news to share like a picture and a name of a little boy - the next member of the Osterfeld bunch who will make us a family of five!  :)

Thank you all, again, for your continued prayers and support.  It is worth a million to us!

Paperwork Progress... and a few Setbacks

I'm starting to feel like we are actually making some headway in this process and thought I'd share (for your reading pleasure) what we've managed to complete so far.  If any of you are considering adopting, it'll give you a little heads-up on the process - or at least the beginning of the process since we still are really only getting started! 

I'm hopeful that I can be mailing a huge packet to our Family Adoption Consultants (our home study agency) sometime in the next few days and that they will finally allow us to schedule our home visits with our social worker.  We will be having three altogether. 

So far, we have:

1.  Had physicals and had lab work done by our doctor and forms completed for both our home study paperwork and our China Dossier.  Our Dossier paperwork will need to be notarized at some point before we send in our Dossier (which is still months away).

2.  Gotten reference letters from 3 friends and 2 family members to verify that we are capable of undertaking the care of an adopted child (we will need to two more letters from a co-worker, neighbor, or pastor for our China Dossier).

3.  Requested letters from our employers to document our positions, salaries, and performance.  We will also need notarized copies of these letters for our China Dossier.

4.  Gotten our fingerprints taken (and we'll have to this another time down the road).

5.  Printed our credit reports and our credit scores.

6.  Read 150 pages of adoption education articles (12 hours of adoption education training to go once we officially start our home study).

7.  Made copies of birth certificates, marriage license, drivers licenses, social security cards, and tax forms.  We will eventually have to get new, certified, notarized copies of our birth certificates and marriage license for our Dossier

8.  Completed 2 different financial statement forms with every detail of our net worth and monthly expenses.  More of this to come for China, as well... 

9.  Had the pediatrician complete forms on the health of the girls. 

10.  Submitted a request to Maryn's orthopaedic doctor to provide a summary of her treatment for hip dysplasia. 

11.  We each have written an autobiography by responding to about a billion questions about our growing up years, marriage, parenting experience, thoughts on parenting an adopted child and information about our community.  Mine is 12 pages long - single spaced and took forever!

12.  We each  have completed a checklist of the topics we feel we need to discuss with the social worker during the home study in order to prepare us for situations we may experience raising an adopted child. 

13.  We have read and signed off on many, many pages of information about the adoption process, etc. 

Of course, as was expected, we have run into some snags along the way! : )

1.  I was informed on Monday that there is ANOTHER form that the pediatrician needs to fill out even though the other form has been mailed to the agency since early June.  After taking that form in this week to be completed, I found out today that our pediatrician is out of the office until July 17 and that, even though the forms are complete, they can't be signed until then.

2.  My doctor's office's severe difficulty with being able to perform the requested (and highlighted in bright pink highlighter) lab work and complete forms completely (among other things) had me doing the "stay calm" deep breathing that can normally only be brought upon by Maryn or Brynlee during the umpteenth tantrum of the day.  On a positive note, the doctor did NOT sign the form without a notary present which is something I had nightmares of happening and I do now have all of the necessary information completed! I am just grateful that I was a healthy person trying to get this information and that I was not actually trying to be diagnosed with an illness or get information about my health.  And, I have reached the final straw of motivation to switch doctor's offices for real this time!!

3.  As of right now, I have no employer reference turned in and have had no contact from my employer regarding my request for this - which was sent the second week of June - despite that I know that the person I have been contacting has been into work many days since then and has received emails, voicemail, and snail mail regarding it.  I guess I'll be making a surprise visit to work one day soon.

4.  Jeremy got a new job for next school year - it's a huge blessing and we are very excited because he will no longer be traveling an hour to work each day.  This has caused a few slowdowns, as well, though, with the adoption process.  We need to document our insurance coverage for our home study.  Our insurance will be with his old employer until the end of August.  Then, we will be on private insurance for 3 months because his new job doesn't provide it the first 3 months. Then, in December, it will change again.  So, filling out these forms is a little confusing.  Also, the new job means that the home study cannot be finalized until his new job starts August 19 or it will require us submitting multiple other forms and paying multiple other fees.

5.  Our computer hard-drive crashed during this process.  I think it is self-explanatory how this might cause some issues!  We are working on getting the information restored (hopefully!) and are thankful that I have a work laptop we can use as a back-up in the meantime.

6.  Using another computer, all of Jeremy's work on his autobiography was lost (despite the fact that the file name shows up on the computer, it is unable to be opened). So, he had to start over from scratch when he was halfway finished.

7.  Our agency uses a website called My Adoption Portal System to manage all of this paperwork.  Well, MAPS was shut down over the weekend and when I went to log on to it on Monday, I got an error message telling me:  "There is no program assigned to you currently, please contact your agency".  And, apparently when they pull up my file, nothing that has been submitted shows up.  All of the forms have reset themselves.  I am still waiting for them to get back to me about whether this can be fixed without me going in to each form again and completing the required tasks and re-signing .  Insert the "stay calm" deep breathing here!!! 

Well, at least there are only 7 items on the list of setbacks and there are 12 things we have completed.  We are also ahead of the game with many things already ready for the Dossier and our I-800A (another document we have to submit, this time to the US government), as well.  I am hopeful that the agency will allow us to schedule our home visits based on the things we do have completed so that we can get some "next steps" done while we wait for some of the straggling paperwork to come in. 

If you have managed to read through this entire list of un-interesting tasks, you should be rewarded.  Let me do so by sharing with you a video of a song I heard on my mara-only drive this afternoon (as opposed to the "Ten in the Bed and the Little One Said, 'Roll Over' on Repeat which is my typical car-ride accompaniment). 

I heard the song, One Drop by Plum for the first time today and found it to be so inspirational to me about this whole adoption process.  I have no idea how new or old this song is, which I realize is very sad.  As I said, I prefer "Roll Over" to screaming "MOMMMMMYYYYY" and so we usually go that route.  Anyway....

My Approval Addiction + Adoption = A Challenge (but a GOOD one)

I would love to say that I don't care what others say... what other's think...  Well, unfortunately, saying that would be a big, fat, lie.  I mean, I don't feel too badly about that because most people do care - at least somewhat... 

Even worse, though, I have to admit that I not only care what others say and think - but even what they DON'T say and think.  Poor people, it's not hard to get in trouble when you are dealing with my mind, sometimes! 

So, with that confession out there, I'll move ahead ...  One consequence of choosing adoption that I had not fully prepared myself for (or at least not enough for it to not still hurt some) was that choice's challenge to my concern about other's opinion of myself and my family.  And, we are only just beginning the process!!!!  (Yikes!)  But, I already I have found that I interpret (or misinterpret) quietness or silence on the part of others (family or close friends) as disapproval.  I tell myself that they think what we are doing is a terrible idea.  That they think that it is irresponsible to go out on a limb to follow "a calling" when we financially don't have the means to do so. 

I interpret (again, maybe -hopefully?- probably?-  mistakenly so) a "wow" in response to the travel plans as an "oh my gosh, I cannot believe you would ever consider leaving your (will be) 4 and 2 1/2 year old children behind for 2 weeks while you travel across the world!"

I know, when I am logical, that these two issues are the ones that I have the most insecurity about - at least at this time in the adoption process - raising the funds and leaving my girls.  So, it makes sense that these are the things that I would struggle with the most about peoples' opinions regarding them.  Luckily, too, I can also realize that, for the most part, this is MY issue. 

There are some nice things about this.  One thing is that God is meeting me here, right where I am.  About a month ago, we had a message at church about "Approval Addiction" - right about when we started telling people about our plan to adopt and my very own approval addiction was starting to rear its ugly head.  Hmm... Coincidence -I think not!  In fact, nothing about the last 9 months or so has been coincidental.  Wearing make-up to church since about October has been a very bad plan because I have ended up, week after week, completely in tears because of how very strongly God has been giving us this calling (and for awhile I felt so unwilling, unable, and unworthy to accept it).  Whenever I give Him the chance, He calms my fears about it ALL.  This last Sunday, we traveled to Indianapolis to visit family and we attended my sister-in-law and brother-in-law's church.  I was in a little bit of a nervous funk - worrying again- this time primarily about leaving the kids (in a year).  And, guess what the pastor spoke about?  You got it - ADOPTION.  He talked about the fact that we have been given a spiritual adoption when we become God's children and that he will not leave us as ORPHANS!!!  Yep, I just never learn my lesson about mascara in church! : )

Another positive  thing about this is that it is not swaying me/us from our decision.  Not any whatsoever.  It's just causing me a little more angst than necessary and giving God a chance to work on another area of my life - my approval addiction! 

Finally, another positive thing is that God has given me a few family members and friends who have been very clear in their support of what we are doing.  They have met me at my insecurities and said the things I've needed to hear (like the fact that they will help with my girls when we're gone, that NO ONE (or a very select few) can afford adoption on their own, and that God will bless this obedience). 

So, all that being said, I am going to come out and say what I have avoided saying in a very outright way before now...  We need HELP making this adoption happen.  So far, we have made a payment to our placing (international) agency of about $4000.00.  We have also paid $200.00 to our home study agency and will very soon be making another payment to that local agency of $1500.  After we complete our home study in the next couple of months, we will make another payment of about $4000 to the placing agency.  It is all beginning to feel due very quickly and we are just getting started!  The total cost for the adoption will be around $30,000.

We humbly ask that you consider helping us financially, if you feel moved to do so.  Every little bit of help will truly add up and we are so appreciative!  There is a DONATE button at the top of the blog if you feel led to contribute and if you have friends or family that you think may be willing and able to help, please feel free to share our blog with them. 

I have also made mention on Facebook of a couple of fundraisers we have in the works.  Chick-Fil-A is going to host a Spirit Night on June 27 during which they will contribute 15% of all purchases between 5 and 8 PM made by families who have one of our fliers.  I will put a link to our fliers on the blog, as well.  We would love to have as many people attend as possible!  Chick-Fil-A says that their most successful Spirit Nights typically raise about $250-$500 for organizations.   

Also, an adoptive mom named Stacy Richards has designed and created a special necklace symbolizing our adoption journey.  She knows what it is like to fund raise for adoptions, as she has been through the experience herself many times.  This amazing lady hand-stamps each and every necklace one-at-a-time personally and makes these necklaces without taking any profit (in between carrying for and home-schooling her 9 children, by the way!).  She will contributes $12 from each necklace sale to our adoption fund.  You can find a link to our necklace fundraiser on our blog, as well.  

Later this summer, exact date in mid-July TBD, we plan to have a garage sale as an adoption benefit, as well.  If you feel the need to clear out your house and were planning on donating the items, we would gladly accept them for our sale.  Please get in touch with me if you have anything you'd like to part with - we'd be happy to come pick it up.  You can email me here.

I can't say enough how much I appreciate so many kind words from family and friends who have already been so encouraging to us on our journey.  And, no, I didn't make this post about my approval addiction to ask for more encouraging words! : )  More so, just to call myself out on it and to work to overcome it!